When you’re done trying on clothes in the dressing room…

Don’t put it back yourself. Not that halter dress. Not that skirt. No, not even that t-shirt. I guarantee that you will somehow do it wrong and I will have to fix it. We hang things a certain way and, since I’m getting paid to put the clothing back and you aren’t, I think I have a little more invested in it being done correctly. Also, after you leave, the mean manager will find that size 2 pair of boot-leg jeans that you stuffed behind the size 6 slim ankle pants and lecture me about being conscientious. Let me do my job. Hand me the clothes, hang them on the “go-back” rack, or leave them in the dressing room. Don’t even bothering trying to refold shit. You’re doing it wrong.

Dirty Dishes

When I ask you to do the dishes, when do you think I want them done?

Wrong Answer:

While I am in the middle of cooking dinner?

When that video of a corgi getting stuck in a tent is over?

Right after you show me something first?

After I remind you to do them later?

After I ask you to do them for THE THIRD FREAKING TIME?

When there are dishes everywhere and a second load will now have to wait?

Right Answer:

As soon as possible. Like, right now, or in like fifteen minutes. But pretty soon, okay? Thanks!!! You’re the best!!!

Hannah Horvath as Maya from Zero Dark Thirty

This is the best. How do you even think of this? Where does this idea come from? I want to go to there.

My Mad Fat Diary

Why do the British make the best shows????  This is an amazing, funny, sad, sweet, realistic coming-of-age drama adapted from Rae Earl’s “My Mad Fat Teenage Diary.” It’s completely addictive; I finished it in two days and am now dying for the second season (which hasn’t even started filming and probably won’t air until 2014). Also, it takes place in 1996, which is kind of interesting.

 

 

NTSF:SD:SUV::

This show is amazing! I kept hearing about it on Laughspin and Splitsider and I don’t know why it took me so long to watch it, especially since A) Kate Mulgrew is in it, aka Captain Janeway and B) it’s only 15 minutes long. Watch the show here!

The show is a parody of procedural dramas, CSI, Law and Order, the Mentalist, yada yada, which is a great premise. NTSF:SD:SUV:: (National Terrorism Strike Force: San Diego: Sports Utility Vehicle::) follows a highly trained team as they save San Diego, and the world, from destruction (or sometimes not).

The show first began as mock promos during Children’s Hospital (another great show) and then fans began demanding more. There have been two seasons so far and the third will air later this year on Adult Swim.

Paul Sheer is the star, Trent Hauser, and the show’s creator.

Off the List 22

LOVE LOVE LOVE

Jonquil reminds me of The Proclaimers. In a positive way.

1. Lifehouse sounds like the name of a Christian rock group.

2. This music video is about a cowboy and an elf who fall in love and transform into white horses.

 

Maria Bamford

My mom bought my brother, who is a huge Chelsea Handler fan, this Comedy Central DVD of female comedians.  Maria Bamford was on it and I had heard of her from this article and also this one.

She also did a Reddit AMA. Excerpts:

Well, I live in California- where what I’m sharing really isn’t that personal? Real estate agents have short memoirs of their shaman healings in my neighborhood– so it doesn’t feel that brave. And my parents (and family) have always talked about EVERYTHING. I mean everything. So, they’re probably wondering, “Why doesn’t she open up more?” Mom, Dad, I’m just waiting til I feel like I know you better.

Just do it. Do what you think is funny. Do it again and again. Fail, try, try, fail, enjoy, triumph, again. That’s all there is. We’re all in the same boat- i’m just as scared as you are. I’ve always been sort of shy and passive aggressive (which I hope is changing) and stand-up has been comfortable for me. It’s a way to say what I want without being challenged- which of course would be different if I did a lot of shows in the UK – where heckling is an art form. Just do it. You are your biggest fan.