Dirty Dishes

When I ask you to do the dishes, when do you think I want them done?

Wrong Answer:

While I am in the middle of cooking dinner?

When that video of a corgi getting stuck in a tent is over?

Right after you show me something first?

After I remind you to do them later?

After I ask you to do them for THE THIRD FREAKING TIME?

When there are dishes everywhere and a second load will now have to wait?

Right Answer:

As soon as possible. Like, right now, or in like fifteen minutes. But pretty soon, okay? Thanks!!! You’re the best!!!


My Mad Fat Diary

Why do the British make the best shows????  This is an amazing, funny, sad, sweet, realistic coming-of-age drama adapted from Rae Earl’s “My Mad Fat Teenage Diary.” It’s completely addictive; I finished it in two days and am now dying for the second season (which hasn’t even started filming and probably won’t air until 2014). Also, it takes place in 1996, which is kind of interesting.





This show is amazing! I kept hearing about it on Laughspin and Splitsider and I don’t know why it took me so long to watch it, especially since A) Kate Mulgrew is in it, aka Captain Janeway and B) it’s only 15 minutes long. Watch the show here!

The show is a parody of procedural dramas, CSI, Law and Order, the Mentalist, yada yada, which is a great premise. NTSF:SD:SUV:: (National Terrorism Strike Force: San Diego: Sports Utility Vehicle::) follows a highly trained team as they save San Diego, and the world, from destruction (or sometimes not).

The show first began as mock promos during Children’s Hospital (another great show) and then fans began demanding more. There have been two seasons so far and the third will air later this year on Adult Swim.

Paul Sheer is the star, Trent Hauser, and the show’s creator.

Off the List 22


Jonquil reminds me of The Proclaimers. In a positive way.

1. Lifehouse sounds like the name of a Christian rock group.

2. This music video is about a cowboy and an elf who fall in love and transform into white horses.


Maria Bamford

My mom bought my brother, who is a huge Chelsea Handler fan, this Comedy Central DVD of female comedians.  Maria Bamford was on it and I had heard of her from this article and also this one.

She also did a Reddit AMA. Excerpts:

Well, I live in California- where what I’m sharing really isn’t that personal? Real estate agents have short memoirs of their shaman healings in my neighborhood– so it doesn’t feel that brave. And my parents (and family) have always talked about EVERYTHING. I mean everything. So, they’re probably wondering, “Why doesn’t she open up more?” Mom, Dad, I’m just waiting til I feel like I know you better.

Just do it. Do what you think is funny. Do it again and again. Fail, try, try, fail, enjoy, triumph, again. That’s all there is. We’re all in the same boat- i’m just as scared as you are. I’ve always been sort of shy and passive aggressive (which I hope is changing) and stand-up has been comfortable for me. It’s a way to say what I want without being challenged- which of course would be different if I did a lot of shows in the UK – where heckling is an art form. Just do it. You are your biggest fan.


Re-Tales: Xmas Edition

I asked my boss if she found the purse that her daughter wanted.

She said she had, but that it wouldn’t arrive in time for Christmas.

That was alright though; she had a plan.

She would print out a picture of the purse, seal it in an envelope, hide it in the bottom of her daughter’s stocking, and make sure it was the last thing she opened.

“I like to see my kids squirm,” she cackled.

I’ve never liked her more.